“It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else’s life with perfection.” – Anonymous
As human beings our first inclination is to seek the approval of others. We bask in the complimentary nature of compliments and encouragement from others. We seek for ingratiation from others and do crazy things to keep up the tempo of ingratiation.
We so often look to external sources to seek for validation that we neglect the one person who knows the answers to the questions in your mind : YOU. Yes, YOU. You know what you need to do to make your life better than what it currently is. You know what is holding you back from making the necessary changes in your life. So yes, you have all the answers to your most pressing questions.
By saying you have all the answers, I am not implying that you have it all figured out. What I am specifically driving across is that you have the answers to the steps you need to take to move forward just a little bit more than yesterday. Even a plan for two steps forward is good enough. It beats not having a plan any day.
What is holding you back from achieving massively in your life? Why are you still backpedaling on your decisions? You know you are not happy with your current state of affairs… and yet you are doing nothing to change that. You are unhappy about something. You know what is making you unhappy. What is holding you back from taking the steps to eradicate the source of your unhappiness?
The primary reason that has been identified by many an expert is that one is often held back by fear. Fear is the primary reason people hold back from attaining their goals in life. ‘What if I fail and become a laughing stock in the eyes of many?’ ‘ What if I go for this and no one identifies with my vision? I would be doomed.’
You know what the common denominator in these questions is? The common denominator is that your fear is based on what OTHER PEOPLE will think of you. The moment you give the power of decision-making to others, you lose the power to take control of your life.
Making decisions based on what other people think is a recipe for disaster. You will find yourself seeking and seeking endlessly for external solutions to problems that are most likely to be solved by you INTERNALLY.
What is holding you back? Your fear to live your life the way you were meant to live it is holding you back. You are clinging onto social constructs that dictate how people should do things. When you give the power to someone else, you have no modicum of control in how you want to TRULY live.
There is a huge difference between living a life that in your eyes is a life that others approve of and living a life that YOU approve of. Major gaping hole difference. When you approve of your own life it means that you are happy with the steps you are taking in life.
To reinforce the quote by anonymous above, it means that you are the captain of your own ship, you are championing your own destiny – imperfect destiny. Being in control of the decisions you make gives you fuel to take even more steps than before. The moment you take the first step you are hooked. You will constantly want to improve yourself. That is the essence of being the driver of your own life.
Living your life according to what others think will cripple you in the long run, if it hasn’t already.
What is holding you back from being the person you want to be? Do you have solid reasons that you can justify to yourself for living your life according to what others dictate? When you think of these reasons that are holding you back from being the person you feel you should be, what overriding compelling reasons do you have that lull the desire for your own freedom of choice?
Ask yourself these questions. You need to know that when all is said and done, you cannot play the blame game and divert all blame to someone else. You have your own mind that is capable of processing, planning, projecting visions and putting together a plan of action for the goals you intend to achieve. Yes, your mind has full capacity for processing and plotting actionable plans.
Are you afraid of your own mind and is that why as a result you don’t want to stretch the fibre of elasticity of your mind? How will you know what you can achieve if you are not allowing yourself to be the best version of yourself and living your life according to your own terms? Ask these probing questions. You owe it to yourself to analyse what is holding you back and the reasons for not taking action to becoming the person you aspire to be.
Don’t ever let fear dictate your life. Act inspite of fear. No one is completely fearless. Those who conquer fear are those who are courageous enough to ACT inspite of the fear. When the desire to change becomes more than the fear you have then you are one step ahead of fear.
Learn to live with fear. It will always be there. Use it as a gauge instead of as a crippling factor in your life. Gauge yourself according to how scared you are. The more scared you are the more you have to do to conquer that fear. Act inspite of fear. Don’t let fear hold you back. EVER.
Don’t let others hold you back. They are living their own lives according to how they want to live. Live yours according to your own terms.
Whatever is holding you back should be tackled ferociously. You will achieve more by changing the things you don’t like and by doing the things you love. Happiness comes from doing what you love. Shed the reasons that are holding you back – especially if they come from what others think. Shed them. Shred them. Dustbin them. Just throw them out. NOW.
Don’t let anything hold you back from achieving what you set to achieve. Life is too short to live your life according to the terms and conditions of other people. Own your life. Own your decisions. Start now.