Who gets to make the final decisions about your life? YOU DO! Even not making a decision is making a decision in and of itself. No one can coerce you to do something that you were not – at least in part – thinking about. Just to clarify something, lest this statement be misconstrued. I am not alluding to forced coercion. Not coercion of the violent kind. I am alluding to conversational dialogues where two or more people decide to take action on an endeavour.
If you do not agree with the action your companions decide upon, it’s your decision to steer clear from it. No one is holding you by the throat and demanding answers from you. The decisions you make are your own. That split second that it takes to make some decisions is one that you use when you make a decision quick on your feet. The key word in all of this is ‘you’. You are the one steering the ship of your life.
If you allow others to subject you to heartache it’s because you are not ready to own up to your true self. That in and of itself is a decision. You decide to stay in bad conditions. You decide to stay in good conditions.
Granted, some aspects of our lives are out of our control. Those are not the focus of this piece. The focus is on decisions that you make that you are in control of. Starbucks coffee? Why not! Feeling like buying Pistachio ice-cream? By all means! You are the one who has made those decisions.
Embrace and accept the one truth about life :Ultimately you are alone. People can only push you so far to help you attain your goals. But YOU are ultimately the leader of your journey – the penultimate decision maker in your life. People can only motivate you so much. Ultimately, you must cultivate inner motivation to do the things you want to do and strive for.
This is not a sad truth of life. It’s actually a beautiful truth, looked at from a different perspective. What this means is that at every turn, you are your own champion. You are your own arbiter. Others can help you oil the wheels of conversation, but you are the one who decides how you will convey your message across.
From a creative perspective, self-reliance is your friend. Allowing yourself to fully immerse yourself in the pool of creativity because you believe you will create a masterpiece is one of the best traits you could possibly cultivate. Being alone is not a bad thing. It doesn’t mean you are lonely. What it means is that even though you revel and relish in the beauty of connections with others, you relish even more the connection with yourself – your innermost truest self. The one truth you should know is that ultimately you are alone. But that’s not a bad thing.
Yes, you are alone when your debt piles sky high. You are alone when you need to sort out the quagmire that is your mess. You are alone when you need to redirect the ship to different terrain. You are alone when you have a problem that no one around you can help you with. Still thinking being alone is bad?
Think again. These problems you have – look at them from a different perspective. What other approach besides the one you have already used (which clearly failed you, thus problems) can you use to find a solution to these problems? Putting your thinking cap on will inspire ideas and solutions to your problems.
All you need sometimes before you hit the panic button, is to sit and write down the challenges and find solutions for said challenges. You do all of this ALONE. This is not a bad thing. Expanding your capacity for thinking of solutions for every problem you encounter will increase your awareness so that in future you are able to deflect problems of a similar nature. Encourage yourself to think.
Don’t ever think you have your back against the wall so tight that you can’t find a loophole. There is always one if you look hard enough. Allow yourself to be alone and to think. Yes, you are a social being who craves the interaction with others. We all are. We love being surrounded by great company, induced by hearty laughter and hearty food. The beauty with knowing and embracing that ultimately you are alone is found in knowing that you can be completely authentic with others and especially more authentic with yourself.
You are alone ultimately. Own it. Embrace it. Know others, but know yourself even more. Knowing yourself requires you to keep in touch with who you are at your core. That can only be truly derived from taking the time to be alone and assembling the jigsaw pieces of your puzzle.
You are the ultimate decision maker. You design your life. You alone can dictate how you want your life to be – the things you can control dictate how far you can push yourself. The things you cannot control, you leave to chance. Instead of dishing out blame, direct inwards and decide how you can change your circumstances (within your control).
Don’t run away from this truth. Own it and make it yours. You will have a fulfilled life knowing that you are as much a part of the people as you are with yourself. Take care of others, but take care of you first. You are alone. Don’t run away from this. Walk tall and run with it!